I Need Help With Overcoming a Pornography Addiction.?

Question by zombieeinstein: I need help with overcoming a pornography addiction.?
Ok there’s a whole lot more to my story, but here’s what’s up. I’m trying to overcome a “pornography” addiction. I have a girlfriend whom I plan to marry, but cannot because we are too young still. I love her more than anything, and have told her of my addiction. Slowly I began to stop and got off the “real people” porn. Then I started to get hooked to japanese anime/hentai, and that still is sort of a problem but I feel I can get over it. But now I am looking up stuff on youtube of stupid things like girls sucking on a banana, which I now watch as if it were my old pornography. My girlfriend is completely against pornography, and I feel I am against it too, but I don’t know sometimes. I used to feel really guilty looking up things, but now I don’t.

I really wish I could make love to my girlfriend but I know it’s extremely far away. We do get “intimate” sometimes, but I can’t say I actually enjoy it as much as me “controlling it” online. (It’s not like we can take things that far though.) Please I want to stop for my girlfriend, but I can’t seem to stop for her alone. I feel I want to stop , but I can’t really find a reason why I need to for myself. Please, I don’t want to grow up and be a father of children one day looking up girls sucking on bananas. I feel because it’s on youtube it’s not really bad. Same with anime, I feel because it is a drawing it’s not really as bad. I know it’s bad in a sense, I am a Christian. I don’t really know what to think sometimes. I don’t look at the women in the “porn” with lust, infact, I kind of don’t like seeing the women, I just like the thought of sex, and the extacy of the situation, especially in thought of awaiting the day I will make love to my future wife. (I hope.) I never avoid people, or take time out to look up these things, and I never spend money on them. I do this on my own free private time. I don’t feel it changes my mood either, if anything I feel relieved/relaxed and feel more conversational afterward, (which is good for me because I’m not very outgoing) but I feel guilty knowing that my girlfriend/potential future wife disapproves of it.

Please, if anyone has any wise words of advice please help.

Oh, and I do not feel masturbation is wrong, especially after I decided to quit and months later I started to get health issues. I can’t seem to do it comfortably in the bathroom and be done. It just feels weird to ejaculate to nothing (nothing to watch)/or have no partner.

Please help if you can and thank you.
Edit:
Ok, I didn’t want to put this but I’m 17, she is sixteen. Juniors in high school.

We will not, WILL NOT, engage in pre-marital sex

I will never lie to her or hide anything from her, that’s wrong!

We have talked about this very very seriously. In person, many many hours on the phone. I don’t talk online, I feel that’s for shy people.

I don’t have anyfriends to talk to. And anyone that I can talk to will most likely tell me it’s ok.

I once stopped looking at pornography and masturbating in general for about 4 months straight. The lack of masturbation and wet dreams for that long caused horrific stomach and digestion problems.

She’s always been around I can’t just talk to her and say let’s get freaky. We’re too young. We can’t really get away, we still live with our parents

I can’t really get out a lot, my parents kinda have it down on me, luckily it’s much better than before.

If my parents knew I would die. No help.

I don’t know the root of the problem!
By the way, don’t assume we’ll break up, I know it’s very possible, and she is technically my first girlfriend, but there is a huge story behind our relationship and just pretend marriage is extremely likely.

Best answer:

Answer by BELLA SWAN – edward or jacob??
I FEEL FOR YOU…
Porn is interesting. I am like WOW when i see something like that.
DON’T WORRY
YOU WILL SLOWLY GET BETTER – TRY IF YOU WANT TO STAY WITH YOUR GF!

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